A testimony of trust and truth and a lack thereof

Have you ever trusted someone with every fiber of your being despite the numerous times the person let you down? Accepted the countless, remorseless apologies of how sorry (s)he was for the act committed when really the apology was merely an empty gesture that redeemed some type of your allegiance back?

Unfortunately, I have. But I never could give up. The friendship meant too much to me. I’d put too much work into holding it together, always letting go of the previous incidents where the trust had been agitated, each time diminishing it just a little more, until now where it has been tarnished beyond repair.

I would guess most would agree when I say we can’t hold onto relationships of any sort when trust is no longer present, when that trust has been tested time and time again only to fail each of those times. But what do we do when still a shred of us wants to continue the relationship? At what point should we tell ourselves to let go or keep holding on when we know things won’t ever change? This is my dilemma.

Just recently, I learned the importance of honesty, how it can set you free from yourself and the thoughts held captive in your mind, the things you so desperately want or need to tell the people in your life but won’t dare utter aloud for fear of rejection, hurting someone’s feelings or whatever fear that might be. The truth, I’ve found, is an addiction once you’ve discovered it and can only create a stronger relationship and encourage the trust present to continue building itself.

I am grateful for this lesson, for it is one I can carry with me, let it empower me when I know I have the strength to be truthful instead of accepting cowardice as an easy solution. I only wish more people accepted and practiced this ideology of truth.

 

Back in action

So, this is my first post in a couple of months, and I have since then left Cindie’s. But for those who enjoyed story-time from my adventures at the adult store, no need to fret! I am at another place of business of the same line of work, and the customers and people are just as entertaining as ever! Stay tuned!

 

Who’s counting?

The other day while having a conversation with a friend about men’s post-sex habits, I realized something about most men. During or most often after intimacy, men will ask their partners, “How many orgasms did you have,” or something of the like. Women understand that men ask because they want to be pleasing lovers, but does the question derive more out of pride or insecurity of having induced a faux orgasm.

Someone I once knew compared making a woman climax to being like a kid winning a prize at the carnival; sometimes it may be a challenge, but in the end, the excitement of having won is exhilarating. On the contrary, I’ve known men who say they ask because they are unsure whether their partner truly climaxed or if it was a feigned orgasm.

However, could the question be a product of both pride and insecurity? Can a man be so insecure to worry that his ego would be bruised that he has to ask? Regardless of the reason for the question, if the woman climaxed, there is no reason to ask how many times.  For most women, achieving one orgasm is enough to be satisfied.

 

Watching VS Acting: Can we be aroused by one and not the other?

In an industry where people come in to learn about themselves and methods of arousal , many often experiment with a variety of products and acts to become erotically liberated.

The other evening, a woman in her early forties was in the video room looking for a film about threesomes with no particular preference in the dominant gender of the ménage a trois. She told me she was interested in seeing if this would be something she would consider. The woman had began dating a younger man who she discovered was bisexual. She was surprised at the news but accepted it. After a while, she said she contemplated the idea of a threesome, also with no preference of dominant gender, but was unsure whether she would be aroused by it. To figure out whether a threesome was indeed something she might like, she rented a couple of DVDs and went on her way.

Although this woman was researching one of  the ever-sought out acts of sexual liberation for a couple, she was basing her decision to do it on whether it aroused her while watching the trio. However, is that enough validation?  It seems that to discover what one may like sexually, the person would have to try the act first hand. Experience and trial by error are usually the best way to go in determining what one may like or dislike, regardless if the subject at hand be general or sexual acts.

So I pose these questions: Can someone be aroused by watching a certain act and not like that act while doing it him or herself, or vice versa? Or do the two come hand in hand?

 

A break-up no cause for a blow up

As an employee of Cindie’s, it is not unexpected to get calls for questions that many would consider awkward, nor is it uncommon to get hit on while trying to help those customers.

In another eventful night, a man in his mid-twenties came in looking for a love doll, or more commonly known as a blow up doll. I checked him out and let him know the item was a final sale, and he said he understood. After thanking him, he went on his way. A short time later, we receive a phone call from the same man saying he wanted to return the doll; however, we explained to him that it was store policy not to accept items of this nature as returns. He went back and forth with my coworker of why he was unable to return the doll, but finally understood he was not going to get a refund.

Ok, it may not be a blow up doll, but it's still a love doll

Ten minutes after my coworker hung up the phone, it rang again, and I answered. It was the man again, only now asking for help on how to use the doll since it was non-returnable. I thought for a second of how to explain the what I thought as simple and unnecessary directions. “Well,” I told him, “there are two orifices on the doll that can be penetrated.” He stayed quiet for a second then asked how he could do it, if they would be too shallow. I said they shouldn’t be, but he still seemed to be confused and asked how he was supposed to penetrate it. He then asked about a liquid that came inside the package. I told him it must have been lubricant, and he asked how to use it; should he put it on the doll, or where should it go? “See, this is what happens when you and a girlfriend break up,” he said. I said it would probably be better to apply the lubricant on himself, and that he should not have a problem penetrating. He didn’t seem to understand what I was telling him, so I put him on hold and told him I would let him talk to my coworker who might have been more able to explain what he should do. My coworker spoke with him for a short time, and he finally got the answers he wanted. There appeared to be a thin layer of a protection sealing over the orifices that he needed to remove before use. He thanked my coworker for her help, but before he hung up, he had one last question. “Do you have a boyfriend,” he asked. She told him she was married, and they hung up.

And so, a word of advice for the single men out there: Don’t expect to pick up a girl from an adult shop, or anywhere for that matter, when you just purchased a blow up doll and don’t know what to do with it. If you don’t know what to do with something inanimate, you may not know what to do with someone who can interact back. A final point: Resorting to a  blow up doll is probably not any better than suffering a break up in terms of keeping one’s dignity.

 

Dear, Gavie? Who knew I’d be called on to be a relationship therapist?

The other day in this class, Professor Berryhill told me I needed to find a passion about something, something to blog about. It just so happens that I’m in the business of passion, technically speaking. I work at Cindie’s. If any of you don’t know what this is, you should look it up or ask someone. You will either be pleasantly surprised or mildly offended. Who knows? Anyhow, that’s the brief introduction to this post.

Today while at work, I helped someone else find passion, or at least attempted to. I approached a man wandering around the store, looking a little puzzled, so I asked if he needed any help. “No thank you, ma’am,” he told me, a little hesitantly though. I asked him if he was sure, and he thought for a second, deciding he did have a question after all. He needed to take a seat, he said, before he asked me his question. When he did, he said he sought out a woman’s opinion because he and his wife were having a bit of trouble in the bedroom, but he was unsure whether the issue was more emotional or physical. I am no relationship therapist by any means. He told me about his wife talking to one of her friends about their dilemma, how she was uninterested in engaging sexually with her husband. Somehow, he learned of this conversation, and he sat down with his wife to talk about the problem in their relationship. She told him he didn’t do the same things when they first got married, such as buy her flowers. The man said he would work on it, but she dismissed him, saying he didn’t have to; it was not important and she did not want to talk about it anymore. Anyway, he asked me what he could do to help their relationship. Unfortunately for him, if the problem is emotional, I could give him no advice other than what I have seen in my experience.

If one person in the relationship is unhappy or uninterested in continuing activity in the bedroom (or elsewhere for that matter), then one cannot coerce the other into having a satisfying connection, no matter how hard each one tries.If the feelings are not present, it’s difficult to force them, only leading to hurt feelings and broken hearts later.  I have also found, for the most part, that there is always one person who is more likely to feel greater emotion for the relationship than the other. That’s how I feel at least.

Needless to say, the man received confirmation in what he had already thought before asking my advice. Something was wrong with the relationship that went beyond physicality.

The most important thing he could do, I said, was to have a sit down with his wife and talk through what the issues were, regardless of how hesitant each one may be. Communication is the most important component of a relationship, but it doesn’t take someone who works at an adult shop to give this sound advisement.

Until next time, play passionately.

:]